That little stick is like a fortune cookie that has changed your life forever, but WHY isn’t there a pregnancy godmother that tells you where the heck to start once you find out you’re pregnant?
After procrastinating for a few months, I finally dove in and began my this shit is getting real process.
I’ve put together a quick guide to help simplify where to start. I hope this will help you on your baby-prepping journey…
Contact your OBGYN
Call your OBGYN once you found out you’re pregnant, but don’t be surprised if the admin lady is not as excited as you are. They want to make sure they are not using up their precious resources to see you until the pregnancy is viable. Basically they probably won’t want/need to see you until you’re 6-8 weeks along. This will be determined by the first day of your last period (LMP), so have this date handy. This date will help to calculate your gestational age which actually started even BEFORE you conceived. Yes it’s a bit confusing, but essentially your body is preparing for pregnancy even before conception. Just go with it or read up on it here.
Start your research
Take a deep breath and get ready to start your research. This part can be overwhelming with so much information out there, but I found a good place to start:
Podcasts: This step was an absolute MUST for me. I listened to the The Birthful Podcast on Spotify religiously during my commute to and from work everyday. There is an Early Pregnancy Playlist (13 episodes) which will kick start your passion for researching this amazing process of pregnancy and birth. Listening to other mom’s birth stories really opened my eyes to understand that each birth is completely unique. You can find practically all the information you might be looking for here from home births to premie births, skin-to-skin and baby’s micro biome, to birth after loss, empowered birth and everything in between.
- OMG MAMA’s Pregnancy prep playlist on Spotify – a list of my personal favorite episodes to start with.
Books/Apps:
What to Expect When You’re Expecting: the pregnancy bible, a classic book that breaks down your pregnancy by week. Don’t be intimidated by the thickness of this one, read it as your pregnancy progresses. Also definitely download the WTEWYE app. The information covered in the book, is brought to life by weekly videos. We looked forward to watching the videos each week to track our pregnancy. We found it fun to watch them in bed together which sparked conversation about our growing baby.
Book for dads: The Expectant Father is highly recommended by my baby- daddy. It is written from the dad’s perspective and with a good sense of humor which is essential to survive pregnancy. This book really tries to teach the future dad how to support you (the mom) through the process of pregnancy and birth, from mood swings and cravings, to giving birth – all in a “fun dad” tone. The follow-up book is The New Father once the baby is born.
Flo app: This app is not only great for tracking your period, but it also tracks ovulation and pregnancy. I actually used this app to help us conceive and then used it throughout the pregnancy (I switched it to pregnancy mode). I love the images that help depict what the growing baby looks like. I would screen shot them and share the progress with my friends and family. “Today the baby is as big as a grapefruit!”
Take classes
There are a few classes that I highly recommend that you are your parter take in addition to the books and apps. You should be able to find them at your local hospital or birthing facility, ask your doctor to provide you a list. Get these classes on your calendar so you have these classes to look forward to! Schedule them around 25-35 weeks so they are fresh in your mind and you feel a sense of comfort that you’re doing all the right things to prep for baby.
Sign up for these classes:
- Preparing for birth – this will get you somewhat ready for what to expect, birth plans, when to get to the hospital & what happens during labor.
- Taking care of a newborn – basics on how to care for a newborn and what to expect the first few days/weeks/months. The best parenting advice we ever got was from this class. Our instructor told us to “LOWER THE BAR” meaning: just hold the baby, feed the baby, & keep the baby alive… and you’re parenting! It’s that simple (sort of). The idea is to get rid of what you think you need to accomplish in the first few months. Keep it simple and know that you need to do nothing more than that. My husband tries to remind me of this often when I start to get overwhelmed, it centers me again.
“LOWER THE BAR!”
- Breastfeeding class – if you intend on breastfeeding this class can be critical to your success. In addition, get phone numbers/emails of the local breastfeeding resources for any help you might need. Getting breastfeeding started successfully can be so critical to baby’s health and your mental confidence.
- Tour your hospital – schedule a tour of your birthing facility so you know exactly where to park, where to enter and which floor to go to. You will also be asked to register for birth two months before your due date. You will be familiar with the birthing space and you and your partner will feel much more confident when the time comes.
Hire help
My husband and I didn’t have any family that would be able to stay over in our one-bedroom apartment in the city to help with the baby. So we threw money at it, we added “night nurse” onto our minimalist registry. This was an investment that was WORTH EVERY PENNY.
Even if family is willing to help out, consider having some professional help as backup especially if there will be a lot of tension or judgment around you. We love our family but it can definitely put a strain on your relationship. Also, keep in mind that your relatives might have learned their parenting techniques many years ago. Their techniques may no longer be the recommended standard for babies today. The benefits of swaddling and only placing babies on their backs while sleeping might not have been the norm in the 80s and 90s. We really wanted to front-load the help in order to survive the first three weeks of parenthood.
- Night doula/night nurse: get through the first few weeks with professional help! We hired a student doula (as it was a better price point for us) she helped with feeding, burping, changing, swaddling and putting the baby to sleep. Her hours were 10PM-6AM. We decided that a good cadence for us was to use her for 3 nights a week for 3 weeks. This was an absolute Godsend for my recovery, sleep, and reducing the stress of monitoring every single sound the baby makes during the night. Is he breathing? Is he ok? Is his swaddle wrapped right?
- DoulasbytheBay.com – SF Bay Area
- Natural Resources – San Francisco
- Post-partum Doula/Lactation consultant: we absolutely loved our PP doula. She was there to help during the day with the baby, teaching daddy how to support me and most of all, my recovery:
- PP Recovery: pain, soaking Sitz bath, dealing with PP emotions.
- Lactation consultation: baby weight, baby latching, different feeding holds, engorgement, hand expressing, clogged ducts, breast massage, how to use a breast pump etc.
- Baby care: supervised and helped to teach us how to change a diaper (on an actual baby), swaddle, bathe the baby, cut his nails, and help to baby cues and cries.
Congrats on taking the first steps in prepping for your baby’s arrival!
OMG Mama you’re doin’ it!
– Jess
